did it hurt? when u fell from someones butt into the toilet water u piece of shit
(via angrybroccoli)
medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later
(via angrybroccoli)
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
(via angrybroccoli)
dumb story because i think i’m funny
we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered
‘hot wheels’
(via angrybroccoli)
MY FRIEND APRIL JUST TOLD ME THAT A GUY IN HER DORM BUILDING HAS A TATTOO OF A CAT RIDING A PIZZA SKATEBOARD AND IT SAYS “GET MEOWTA HERE”
i wasn’t kidding okay
(via sarcastic-snowflake)
*picks up cat* *makes cat dance* *puts cat back down*
(via angrybroccoli)
